the Andrew Bailey

Thank you for coming to my TED talk

Screenshot of Sam and the Narrator.

Sam & Max: The Devil's Playhouse

The game opens and closes every episode with a narrator. He doesn't do much, and only explains obvious things that I could figure out myself. He has a slight British accent, but he isn't Stanley's. The office that Sam and Max uses is unavailable for the entire game. They were kicked out between the last season and the first episode of this one. The C.O.P.S. have moved into the Desoto, and Sam uses it as a mobile office.

Screenshot from Dear Esther, showing a hillside covered with knee high stone walls.

Dear Esther

This is a confusing game, for some definition of game. Do you remember the saying, "Show. Don't tell"? Dear Esther is a game that's all tell, but no show. It's a pure walking simulator with a narrator. Despite this, it's nowhere near as interesting as The Stanley Parable. There's no interactivity at all in this game, and there are no impactful choices to make. Walk around, and a voice says something.

Screenshot of a messed up character model in Assassin's Creed Unity.

Don't Preorder Games

Hi! You probably just read a message telling you to not preorder games. The following is an incomplete list of games that were terrible on release, and many who preordered them regretted it. You might have been one of them. Thanks to patch culture, some of these might be OK now, but you should not count on that for future releases. You already gave The Man your money, so why should he care? To him, you're just another sale in the quarter. So in the interest of learning from the past, let me remind you in chronological order:

Screenshot of Sam and Max talking to an Easter Island Moai head statue.

Sam and Max: Season 2

Sam and Max: Season 2 continues the antics found in Season 1. Max continues his presidential administration, but a robot sent from Santa has started tearing up the place. Not that it mattered, but the whole place could have needed some cleaning up when Max got elected. Sybil's place has been thrown to the next block, and a pile of rubble sits next to the office.

Screenshot of a street battle in Shadowrun: Hong Kong

Shadowrun: Hong Kong

Wow. My backlog of games grows by the month, and I'm not even playing anything! I guess I'll have to dive back into this hobby someday. It might as well be today. Shadowrun: Hong Kong is the third installment of the Kickstarter Shadowrun series. As suggested by the title, this game takes place in Hong Kong, but in an alternate future.

Screenshot of an execution move in Hotline Miami.

Hotline Miami

If you haven't noticed, I've been going through some very pacifist games. I needed a game with some violence. I knew full well about this game, and that's why I chose it. Hotline Miami might have gone a bit overboard, but I don't care.

Screenshot of Myst 3: Exile, in J'nanin

Myst 3: Exile

Sometime in the bad old days (around 2003), I found Myst 3 in a discount bin at the local Big Lots. I was intrigued, so I ponied up the 10 bucks to buy it. Since I heard that Riven was so difficult, I wondered if skipping directly to 3 would spoil things. Over 15 years later, and after playing Riven, it is an absolute no; they might as well be separate.