the Andrew Bailey

Karmic Retribution

I was back in my hometown last weekend. Had some old friends over, relaxed, and had plenty to do. Four day weekends for the win!

For the past 10 years at least, there's been a nosy neighbor. You know, the kind that sits (or stands) and stares at everything going on around him. The kind that calls the police to chalk your car when you haven't moved it for 2 days and it's blocking his view. The kind where you pass by his house on the other side. The kind that get radio scanners to listen in on your portable telephone conversations and know your bank account numbers and how much money you have. The kind that have their registered sex offender relatives live with them. Oh yeah, THAT kind of neighbor.

Last Monday, I was awakened by something banging on metal. Oh, they're giving Asshole a new roof. Meh, I have things to pack.

Two hours later, it starts to rain. They put a tarp and sheet over the roof, and I'm swapping out drives and such to give mum a nice computer upgrade. She's sitting there talking with me about who knows, when we hear sirens. They get louder, we look down the street to see them pass, but they don't and the siren stops.

"Great," she says, "someone fell off the roof."

We run to the window, and see two firetrucks and a cop car outside his house. Then we see EPIC ELECTRICAL ARCING.

We decide to return years of favor and go out on the porch and stare. Looked like someone had knocked a ladder into the electric line, and from the red light flickering on the sheet blowing next to it, the upstairs was on fire.

It took Big Electric Corp. about half an hour to get someone there to shut off the power, but by then, the epic sparking had stopped and the firemen had taken about 10 fire extingushers in there to put out everything.

By then, everyone was on their porch watching. Karma can be a bitch, but it feels good when you're the one doing the bitching. And don't worry, it was spring break and all the kids were home, so it was a family affair!

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You can't complain about this anymore. It's perfect!