the Andrew Bailey

My Freaky Dream, Part 1

This is not a dream of mine, but from a friend about 10 years ago. I think it predates Toe Stew. Things were a bit odd at the time, and as far as I know, nothing described here has happened. I have changed the real names used in this to protect the guilty, except for yours truly. This is a rather long dream, and was delivered to me in two parts. It is divided at a rather convenient cliff hanger.

This dream starts out as I am driving down a road in my brand new Corvette ZO6 and it looks like I have just gotten out of the marines. As I am driving around in the middle of nowhere, I start to see some sort of stadium rising above the top of the corn. As I look at my instructions, I soon learn that my destination is about a mile down the road from this stadium. As I drive by (in the middle of nowhere), I notice a few thousand cars parked in the stadium's 14 parking garages and outside its attached Chinese restaurant. About a half mile past the stadium, I see a 14 story tall burger bar. Did I mention that I'm in the middle of nowhere?

I arrive at my destination and see that it is a 3 floor log cabin with a 500 foot driveway with wonderful fountains and a beautiful garden like those of the English queens. There are fourteen cars in the driveway itself, ranging from a GMC Silverado to a Saleen S40 Competition with optional rear tail. Attached to the log cabin was a 2 story high, 4 car garage with a Buick Regal and three other fancy cars that cost several million dollars. Nearby is a 7 story tall, 40000 square foot garage with a new paint job (purple) that had one vehicle in the middle of the gargantuan structure: one moped. Whoever made that garage made it and had no money left over for a car.

Anyways, as I walk up to the porch next to the Porsche, (catchy, huh?) I see a banner that probably cost about a thousand dollars, that read in totally incomprehensible writing: "Welcome home, Robert". I entered the door to the house and was greeted by Mom, Dad, Bill, and Jeremy. I also saw two young boys playing in the living room.

After awhile, Dad left to do such-and-such, and Mom decided it would be a good idea for us all to go to the Chinese restaurant to celebrate me coming home.

By the way, Bill has been wearing a purple tuxedo all this time. I think if I had looked in his wardrobe I would have found purple underwear, purple dress socks, a couple dozen purple tuxedos, and a purple clown nose.

As we went to the Chinese restaurant, I saw a few cows walking down the road. I thought that this was odd, considering that there were no cattle farms for a billion miles, but no one else seemed to notice.

As we pulled into the Chinese restaurant, I noticed that even though this was the middle of nowhere, there were still quite a few people in the restaurant. As we entered, Jeremy and I excused ourselves to the restroom. Before I continue, you must remember that what happens here has about zip chance of actually happening.

As we entered the restroom, I saw that the men's restroom had one toilet, one urinal, and two sinks. As Jeremy enters the toilet stall, I hear him humming a tune that kinda sounds familiar.

I ask him what he is humming and he replies, "You don't recognize it?"

I said, "No. But it sounds kinda familiar"

He then said, "It's from your game that you made like, 13 years ago or something. It's so cool and so popular I still play it sometimes and the music gets stuck in my head."

I said, "But I thought that we didn't make 5 bucks off of it so Andrew declared it shareware!"

Jeremy said in a curious way, "No... Is that what he told you?"

I shouted, "Yes! He told me we didn't make five bucks off it so he made it shareware! How much money did he- I mean, we make?"

There was a long pause and then he replied, "You three were declared in the top ten richest people on earth. You made about 9 billion dollars."

I replied in a voice that tried to cover my seething anger: "So, he owes me 3 billion bucks, huh. Well if I had known that I wouldn't have HAD TO JOIN THE STINKIN MARINES FOR EIGHT YEARS! AHH! I'LL KILL HIM! I'LL KILL HIM!"

By this time we had attracted a crowd of people who were staring at us; a crowd so large that there was about 100 people crammed into a 30x30 foot room. I was about to make up an explanation when Jeremy bust out of the stall door and started singing rap music from the game. I then noticed that everyone was wearing our game's merchandise: caps, t-shirts, belt buckles, and so forth. Suddenly everyone joined into the song with Jeremy.

Then saw a face that I recognized. It was Andrew. He was about the height he is now with normal clothes, nothing fancy. As he entered the room, he started to dance and sing to the music. I tried my best to wade through to him, and eventually, I moved about three feet. It seemed like hours before I got to him.

When I did, he turned rather pale and said in a shaky voice, "Hi, Robert. How ya been?"

It was right about then that I punched him right in the nose. Everyone screamed and ran out out of the room. Andrew fell, and I jumped on him getting ready to

Posted under Literature.

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