Arrr, Avast ye landlubbers! This Thursday be International Talk Like a Pirate Day! Aye, every nin'teenth of Septembar it be.

And I be observin' it well. It just so happened that last Satarrrday that the blood bank be givin' away Pirates tickets, so I went and bled. My blood pressure happened to be almost 125 over 70, which made me almost dead compared to what it usually is. But alas, I did not go down to the locker! Instead, I be goin' dahntan fer a baseball game wit me dad. He looks just like Mister Gibbs, I swear!

And don't be forgettin' these handy instructions, so you can be goin' about like this!